living:stone/diary

10th April 2008ce
"...the clock stopped,
short, never to go again, when the old man died."
I was told my genetic father had just died while reading
Chapter III of _Liber
AL vel Legis_. I had just read the line "Bahlasti!
Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds"
when I got the call. He was seventy-nine years of
age and had left nothing but a trail of utter destruction
behind him. What a disgusting man - in every way.
Karma Police, arrest this man... and they will.
---------------------------
7th April 2008ce
On the 13th of this month, living:stone will be playing
a live, improvised-haven't-got-a-clue-what's-going-to-happen-gig.
The rest of the band don't know this yet - they think
it's just a run through the usual set. I can't wait
to see their faces when I tell them about it tomorrow
night. You've got to keep it dangerous, for you will
not learn ANYTHING from what you already know.
Anyway, a question for you - who IS that voice that
whispers to you inside your head? You know the one
I mean, y'know, THAT voice...
---------------------------
4th April 2008ce
On this day in 1968, Martin
Luther King was assassinated, but Immortality
was assured. Why do humans destroy Love?
Anyway, I've been creating a thing I have named _wordmusic_
and it's driving me to a beautiful state of insanity.
It's a system for playing written text as music, and
it has thrown up a fascinating twist, when it is considered
how the creator of this Music would actually be the
Author of the text itself. The Musician is merely
acting in a role of a 'decoder'. He is simply applying
a system - the text determines what the Music will
be.
Things are good at the moment.
----------------------------
28th February 2008ce
I'm trying my best to gently float above the world,
watching, trying to Understand, wishing it rain
down from a great height on us all. The "it"?
Why it's none other than Divinity.
Elevate
your Mind and Free your Soul...
----------------------------
11th February 2008ce
"Time, he flexes like a whore..."
There have been some pretty strange anomalies happening
recently with time in my world. The last week has
felt like a month and sometimes one single moment
can feel like an hour. May this shift in perception
continue because it is good.
I was reading about Dr.
Aubrey de Grey's idea of extending human life
expectancy - "What I'm after is not living
to 1,000. I'm after letting people avoid death for
as long as they want to" he stated.
Alas, the fear of physical death haunts most. "Gotta
put it off, even though it's going to happen, I've
just gotta put off the inevitable as long as I possibly
can."
You ARE going to physically die. Absolute Fact...
so that's a pretty damn-good reason to "Seize
The Day".
When I think of some of the people I know from my
everyday life and think of them being around for 500
years, or more to the point, ME being around THEM
for 500 years, it is kinda scary...
"Time, he's waiting in the wings..."
----------------------------
29th January 2008ce
I've just heard the recorded live session we did for
the BBC Radio. It sounds great, although with a 'warts
'n all' live performance there are some 'ropey' parts,
but hey, FLAUNT those imperfections baby. We're not
perfect or anywhere near it. Are you?
----------------------------
30th December 2007ce
fashion. smashion. sing. don't sing. turn. turn. kick!
turn. pray.
stop praying. left. right. sit down. stand up. god.
devil. good.evil. wrong. right. keep
on. or stop.
----------------------------
19th December 2007ce
I'm busy co-writing and producing a piece of Music,
"Wall". It's a task I set myself and I'm
loving it. It involves the pieceing together of seperate
Musical parts written by people from the US, Finland,
Scotland and Ireland. All that remains to be done
is a recording of text spoken in Irish Gaelic. That
will be done on the '07 Winter Solstice, the day the
Northern Hemisphere is in Darkness the longest. And
therein lies a little Mystery...
----------------------------
11th December 2007ce
Last night we recorded a living:stone live session
for Radio play. We played seven songs, each three
times - that's twenty one songs sung with extreme
intensity, in a row. By the end of it I was completely
bolloxed. It was good to actually hear how the live
setup sounds. It's good and could be better, but hey,
the groove and feeling is there and that'll do for
me.
I'm really looking forward to getting the chaps together
to rehearse the new set of songs going under the title
of "belfastsongs".
----------------------------
28th November 2007ce
Igor
Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. Music with such
Power which is undefinable, yet real. Or maybe it's
delusion on my part. Either way, I can't stop listening
to it at the moment.
----------------------------
25th November 2007ce
The song 'joy'
from the 'Voyeurism'
EP has been getting a lot of radio airplay which is
very flattering. I had a surreal experience the other
day when I got into my car and switched the radio
on to hear the second verse of 'joy' immediately coming
out of the speakers. Very weird.
I've been thinking lately how the whole 'living:stone'
project is one big ego-trip. That's not a nice thought.
I comfort myself by thinking it's a destruction
of the ego rather than an embellishment. Maybe it's
the 'I'm a Leo, so I have to be a big-shot" thing.
I mean, the fact that I keep an online diary about
myself is in a sense ridiculous and totally ego-driven,
however in another sense, it's the most theraputic
thing I've done and has made me face my ego and attempt
to overcome it. Either way, the manifestation of this
character known as "living:stone" is a drug.
A release.
----------------------------
17th November 2007ce
The last card in the Tarot Deck is "The
World". Then it's back to the start with
Card#1, "The
Fool". That's exactly what is happening
to me. I'm gaining The World on one level and entering
the next as a Fool. A Novice. A Noob.
It's a game of Snakes
and Ladders. You get to the top and slide
back down... then you get to the bottom and climb
back up, ad infinitum.
----------------------------
14th October 2007ce
I've just spent four days in Berlin meeting and speaking
with a bunch of very clever people meeting under a
pseudenom of 'The Pythagoras Society'.
I didn't get to see much of that amazing City due
to the intensity of the discussions and presentations,
but I did see the incredible Brandenburg Gate, the
Berlin Wall and the highlight was a visit to the Pergamon
Museum for a personal pilgrimage to see and experience
The Pergamon Altar.
I kept a running diary throughout the trip and one
entry reads, "I'm sitting on the top step
of the Pergamon Altar. In the Pergamon Museum, Berlin.
Me. From the Ravenhill Road in East Belfast. Sitting
on the top step of the fucking Pergamon Altar. I've
travelled a long way since the days of the Ravenhill
Road in East Belfast. Be proud.".
----------------------------
4th October 2007ce
It was a beautiful, golden Autumn day. A train journey
followed by a really enjoyable walk. As I was walking
along the tree-lined Ardenlee Avenue, I kept noticing
the opened shells of chestnuts fallen from the trees.
The green, spikey shells were scattered here and there
and they got me thinking - I wondered how many of
2007's children would be going to their local park
to throw sticks up at the chestnut trees to knock
the "conkers" off? They of course would
then take their prizes home to drill a hole through
the conkers, then bake them in an oven for a short
while to harden them. A shoelace would then be threaded
through the conkers in time to take them into school
the next day to take part in a conker fights.
Now in 2007 they would have to be on-line virtual
conkers for any of today's children to become interested.
Anyway, Autumn is here - Please DO bend down for the
one called "The Green Man"...
----------------------------
22nd September 2007ce
It's one month and five days since the last entry
into this little diary. My dearest little diary, I've
been ignoring you. I've been getting all philosophical
with another
diary, or blog as it's called. My dearest
little diary, I'm sorry. I've been cheating on you
with someone else. But it's YOU I love - not that
other blog.
She's not in your league. My dearest little diary,
YOU are all that matters to me - not some cheap, little
whore of a blog.
Well then, why did I go looking for release of my
pent up philosophical frustrations with someone
else? Because that other blog
made me feel special... important... exciting... sexy.
But believe me, I LOVE YOU and no other.
On another note, last night, living:stone played a
fekkin' great gig at the Black Box in Belfast. If
you weren't there, shame
on you.
----------------------------
17th August 2007ce
I'm just back from a living:stone gig at The Pavilion
in Belfast.
It was a scream. The first band were more like 'The
Band' than 'The
Band' were. The last band played a set of
epileptic 70's TV-theme music sung in a Luther-Vandross-with-the-shits
style voice.
living:stone popped up in between these pieces of
pastiche and played seven songs... and genuinely freaked
a lot of people out.
I did consider WHY living:stone were playing to an
audience of conservative
"normal" people who reeked of the "Man
Asleep". The point of genuine interest
for me is how that crowd would criticise what we were
doing, when it is in actual fact because of their
closed-doors perception of how they 'think' music
should be - catchy, melodic with a nice chorus to
sing along to - no apologies, living:stone defiantly
don't do that.
----------------------------
7th August 2007ce
So much has happened over the past two weeks in my
Subjective
World. If those things manifest in my Objective
World, I'll be a few steps closer to either
Wisdom
or Delusion.
But then it's not finding the Holy Graal that matters,
it's all in the search.
Welcome to Your World. Enjoy the ride.
----------------------------
25th July 2007ce
It's getting pretty difficult to find an intelligent
person who actually believes
in a Saviour and/or a Deity. Anyone can hope there
is a Deity who governs how the Universe functions,
or believe there is one, but that most certainly does
not make it a reality.
For example, the current First Minister of the Northern
Ireland Government, the notorious Ian
Paisley believes and preaches that the Pope
is The
Antichrist. Does that make it true? No. It
simply means that he is suffering from the effects
of Apophenia.
----------------------------
22nd July 2007ce
Later on today I'll be playing music at a Circus with
Vic Bronzini-Fulton and Chris McEvoy, two other members
of living:stone. It's music we've created together
specifically for this show titled "Sapced Out"
and it's around a Barbarella/Sci-Fi
theme. The show is brilliantly funny and we're having
a great time being the live soundtrack.
Next week sees the restart of rehearsals for forthcoming
living:stone gigs. I'm looking forward to getting
some new songs together with the band.
----------------------------
17th July 2007ce
At this moment in time, it's going sort of "well".
Progression is being made. What is around the corner?
----------------------------
28th June 2007ce
"Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize
just as I did that there's a difference between knowing
the path and walking the path." ('Morpheus'
from The Matrix).
Note that Morpheus told Neo that he WAS going
to come to a realisation, like a Father speaking to
his Son from knowledge gained from his own experience.
Morpheus was telling Neo that whether he liked it
or no, he WAS going to grow up and evolve into someone
who was "walking the path".
Yes folks, it's time for the Human Race to stop being
afraid of actually GROWING UP and taking responsibility
for our own actions. You can't blame an unseen Deity
for EVERYTHING! If you're a twat then simply stop
BEING a twat. It's not that complicated when
you think about it.
If you want to stop a war, don't hold endless talks
about talks about talks, just stop fighting - then
the war is over. Finished.
Don't be frightened of yourself.
'It's in the trees! It's coming!' (Kate
Bush - Hounds of Love)
----------------------------
18th June 2007ce
"All you ever get is what you steal."
That's a line taken from the song "Chant"
by Public
Image Ltd from the 1979 album masterpiece
"Metal
Box". I tend to go along with that sentiment.
----------------------------
14th June 2007ce
Later tonight I am playing a gig with living:stone
at the Empire
Music Hall in Belfast. It really is a great
place to play and I'm looking forward immensely to
it. The gig shall be known forthwith as "The
Fehu
Working". I need the money :-)
----------------------------
11th May 2007ce
Belfast
is emerging slowly from religious division - a division
so incestuous that a person could be identified as
Catholic or Protestant by the most miniscule of details,
oblivious to an outsider. For example, the way a person
would say the alphabet would reveal his Religious
background. A Catholic would pronounce the letter
"H" as "Haich" and a Protestant
would say it as "Aich" with no "H"
sound at the beginning. This snippet of information
would be enough sometimes to get your head severely
kicked in by a gang overhearing one of your conversations.
In Belfast, there is the 'Albert Bridge' running from
the City Centre towards the East Side of the City.
Dependent on what side of that bridge you walked on
as you were heading home revealed which Religion you
"belonged to". If you walked on the left
side, you were a Catholic going towards the "Short
Strand" area and if you walked on the right side,
you were a Protestant going towards the "Ravenhill"
or "Woodstock" areas.
I wrote and recorded a song about the scenario of
walking along the Albert Bridge and seeing a group
of four guys crossing over the road and coming towards
me. The song is titled "Spunkblood"
and is taken from the album 'A
Collection of Music'.
To hear "Spunkblood", click "Play"
button and turn your speaker up LOUD for an Enhanced
Darkened Experience of a Nightmare...
and a word of Warning; "Spunkblood"
is NOT nice.
----------------------------
2nd May 2007ce
Mayday
has just passed and since then it has been the most
glorious, uplifting and inspirational weather. This
morning was just beautiful. What else can I say but
"Thank You"?
I have finally finished the 'Voyeurism'
EP recordings. Well, when I say finished,
it's not really. There is SO much I would love
to re-record. When I listen to the five songs I cringe
at certain parts, but in the business of writing and
recording music, that is ALWAYS the case. I am never
truly content with what I do, which is more than likely
a lack-of-confidence thing. Or maybe the music of
livng:stone is genuinely 'pants'
and I can't admit it. Who cares anyway? Today I am
just thankful for what I have.
----------------------------
19th April 2007ce
Ordinary Life: Today I took my battle-scarred,
yet still trusty Skoda to the M.O.T. centre for a
test to see if it was still roadworthy, and it IS!!
The Inspector dude actually passed that car! Miracles
will never cease. Next we'll have Protestants
and Catholics being nice to each other... or that
is probably asking waaayyy too much.
Five nights earlier: living:stone played at
The Spring and Airbrake in Belfast and it was just
great. A BBC
review stated that we "funk around onstage
like an embarrassing dad dancing to an '80s wedding
band". That's DEFINITELY me
he's talking about. "We'll see what he or she,
God Bless 'em, is like after 43 years of living on
this Galactic Zoo we know as Earth",
I reply rather smugly... or does the truth that I
DO "funk around onstage like an embarrassing
dad dancing to an '80s wedding band" hurt too
much? It must do for why else would I care to mention
it here?
Right Now: Living is good. We, in this society
have SO much to be thankful for, yet it IS Human Nature
to take things for granted. Isn't that how evolution
happens - elements of life becoming familiar with
other elements and adapting to them because of the
continual interaction with each other? Time for B.E.D.
----------------------------
31st March 2007ce
The surreal times of the past for some reason just
came back to me tonight. I was thinking about the
family I grew up within. God, they were MAD, and no
other word does them justice better. "Insane"
sounds much too clever to describe them and here's
one example of the livingstone madness;
When I was about four years old I developed a bad
case of whooping
cough. My Father in all his wisdom was told
a story in a pub about a man who lived out in the
countryside and was a "Seventh Son of a Seventh
Son" who allegedly "had healing powers".
That was it. I was whisked into the car and driven
to see this Messiah of Whooping Coughs. The man took
a saucer of milk and held a ferret
over the dish and let the animal lick the milk for
a short while. The "Seventh Son of a Seventh
Son" then poured the ferret-licked milk from
the saucer into a glass and told me to "drink
it all". I did; well wouldn't you under those
conditions? Mad Fathers and Farmers standing over
you with milk and ferrets can be a tad intimidating
to a four year old...
A strange, surreal
moment and not one I would recommend, but
it was perfectly normal to my barking mad Father.
Although strangely enough, the whooping cough very
quickly disappeared after that, but hey, could you
ever take an Old Wive's Tale seriously?
----------------------------
26th March 2007ce
Later today I will helping some children to get ready
to play in two separate ensembles at a School Spring
Concert. They are all very excited about performing
in public and to be part of their excitement gives
me a great buzz. One of the ensembles will be performing
their own composition that I have helped them with.
The energy they put into their own song is Art in
its purest sense - young, uninhibited, passionate
energy, driven by a Love of what they are doing...
and there lies a great message for the "adults"
of this world - the ones who "take a quiet
life and a handshake of carbon monoxide..."
----------------------------
23rd March 2007ce
Last night I finished recording the last piece of
music for a forthcoming release by living:stone.
It is finally recorded, but still has to be mixed
and mastered. It's driving me ever-so-slightly mad
but hey, that's the price for making a dick of yourself
and offering a piece of yourself to the public.
Why can't I just do the normal thing and stay at home,
pottering about the house like a lost soul?
----------------------------
18th March 2007ce
"Why this is hell, nor am I out of it. Think'st
thou that I, who saw the face of God and tasted the
eternal joys of heaven am not tormented with ten thousand
hells in being deprived of everlasting bliss?"
(Mephostophiles)
It seems that all we want is nothing more than a great
big hug...
----------------------------
17th March 2007ce
Saint Patrick's Day and a nice diary entry. living:stone
have been asked to perform at a benefit gig to raise
money and awareness for Horizon House, the Northern
Ireland Children's Hospice. living:stone have
gladly accepted.
----------------------------
11th March 2007ce
Everything is like a Movie, except instead of watching
it, I'm actually IN it. It may also be a case of 'lucid
dreaming'. Either way, I'm playing in the big sea
that is The World, riding whatever waves come at me.
Sometimes I catch the next wave perfectly and glide
along it with grace, but most the time I get thrown
about in the torrent like a novice out of his depth.
I wouldn't have it any other way...
---------------------------------
4th March 2007ce
May this bubble never burst.
---------------------------------
3rd March 2007ce
The morning after the night after, the night after
a belter gig at The Bunker. If you weren't there,
it's your loss. The band are beginning to musically
cook like a Red-Hot Mama and it feels good. I feel
indebted to the band members Vic, Howlette, Krzysztov
and ChrisMac. I obviously couldn't do it without them.
They enable me to manifest my dreams.
The thing that pleased me most about the gig was the
presence of my wife, Jain. The thought of her at one
of my gigs terrified me, for if we were bad, she would
directly tell me so. It means a lot to me what she
thinks and to hear her tell me that we were good was
music to my ears... Her Joy is My Joy...That little
lady enables me to manifest in total.
---------------------------------
25th February 2007ce
I'm very grateful for the positive comments that have
been posted on the MySpace
page and communicated to me privately about the music
of living:stone. It means a lot.
So you, dear gentle reader are welcomed with open
arms to be part of this trip. The choice is yours...x.
"The
Royal Secret, of which you are Prince, if
you are a true Adept, if knowledge seems to you advisable,
and Philosophy is, for you, radiant with a divine
beauty, is that which the Sohar terms The Mystery
of the balance.
It is the Secret of the Universal Equilibrium."
('Morals
and Dogmas' by Albert Pike)
---------------------------------
2nd February 2007ce
Verses cherry-picked from "The Lightbringer"
by Killing
Joke...
"The rebellious spirit in you and me... The Lightbringer.
Which intelligence gave geometry,
binary system, complex cycles of astronomy?
Number, proportion, measurement,light,
angle,mathematics all appeared overnight!
Who is the symbol of the serpent snake?
Who gave us knowledge of medicine?
Who knew precisely the earth diameter?
Who modified our bestial character?
Civilizer Initiator Liberator O Enlightener - COME!"
---------------------------------
26th January 2007ce
MobilePhoneObsession - On a five minute trip
to a garage I counted eight people talking or texting
on their mobile 'phones. The girl who worked in the
garage was serving customers while speaking on her
'phone to her friend about what she did last night.
The girl she was serving was texting a message to
someone. Even though the two of them were interacting
with each other, they seemed oblivious to the other.
There were three males standing outside the garage
sharing mobile 'phone ring-tones with each other..."here,
what about this one? Imagine being wiped out and listening
to that..." one of them said. Another three people
I spotted in the garage either talking or texting
on their 'phones.
IdiotWriting - I received an email from someone
telling me that they were "still in a shit job"
and I read another letter from someone who informed
me that he was attending a "creative wratting
coarse" - he meant "creative writing course".
What is society coming to?
---------------------------------
19th January 2007ce
This 'going forward' business is a relentless task
I can tell you, but I'm as happy as a pig in doo-doo
and enjoying the ride... and it IS just
a ride.
---------------------------------
14th January 2007ce
I'm going to a studio tomorrow to work on some more
music for the album 'Voyeurism'
and I can't wait. Of course that is totally dependent
on whether I am still alive then, so I'd better take
one challenge at a time - and the first of tomorrow's
challenges is to waken up. We'll see after that...
Before I go; do yourself a favour by asking yourself
if you are genuinely happy with your life. If you're
not, then at least attempt to change it. Even
a SMALL change will make a difference.
---------------------------------
10th January 2007ce
I'm reading "Mastery"
by George Leonard. He speaks of the levels of Mastery
as "plateaus" on where we exist until we
experience short bursts of progress, each of which
is followed by a slight decline back to a plateau,
except this new level is higher than the one which
preceded it.
It's the DOING and BEING that matters - not the final
target you have set yourself, for Mastery does not
have a final destination that can be reached. Finding
the Holy Grail is not what it's about - it's the Quest
that matters. Love what you DO.
---------------------------------
3rd January 2007ce
The living:stone project goes forward this year or
stops. Since its conception in 2002ce, it has been
a mAgIcAL wOrKiNg of the Highest with its initial
purpose of providing a "shrink's chair"
that could be used for my outpourings. Whether anyone
actually reads them being irrelevant, this site has
been a gateway to unfathomable wisdom regarding the
Objective and Subjective Universes. After this project,
the only place to go is EVERYWHERE, with the Bringer
of Light as the Archetypal Principle.
I hope dear reader, that you are wise enough to grasp
that concept. If you are shocked or confused, then
forget about it...
---------------------------------
22nd December 2006ce
It's nearly three weeks since the last entry into
this journal. I've been busy with other projects that
are floating around the ether of the Internet. It's
brilliant to get rid of crap that builds up inside.
This verse from the Gospel of Thomas from The
Nag Hammadi Library says it all really -
"If you bring forth what is within you, what
you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring
forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth
will destroy you."
It's also the Winter Solstice. The
Sun of God dies only to be resurrected again
in three days time. On the 25th December, the only
begotten Sun of God will be born again to start another
yearly cycle with His twelve disciples, Capricorn,
Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo,
Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius...
"Oh! The blasphemy!" I hear you say.
---------------------------------
"5th December 2006ce
"In the future there will be no more men and
no more women - just a whole world full of wankers..."
from the movie "Gregory's
Girl"
---------------------------------
2nd December 2006ce
living:stone - Katy Daly's, 30th November, 2006.
And the live set opened with a one minute length,
lone trumpet solo with myself clanging a bell while
reciting;
"I Invoke Thee, The Nameless One,
The Borneless One
The Hidden God,
The Secret God.
I Evoke Thee,
The Ageless Intelligence of The Universe,
Who dwells in a spiralling tower fortress,
Who has guided and overseen our evolution from time
immemorial,
Who has remained concealed but very close to us awaiting
the future time of re-awakening.
Illuminate this room,
Let us enter into the Realm of Possibilities,
Let us see The Black Flame,
Reveal the full Glory of The Void.
Oh Children, take the flame inside you,
Burn and burn below,
Fire seed and fire feed,
To make the baby grow... BECOME!!!"
After that began strange funk music, and after
that was a stunned silence..
---------------------------------
27th November 2006ce
Stepping through Ganzir...
To the Abyss,
Out of the Gates of the Living,
To enter the Gates of Death,
Out of the Lands we know,
Into the Lands we know not,
To the Land of No Return.
I'm just back from Cardiff where I met with some great
people. I was asked to give a presentation on my music
- why did I make the music and what I hoped to achieve
from it? So I fumbled my way through a naive-style
talk with me also firing questions to the listeners
about the old world merging with modern times, which
is the concept behind the 'A
Collection of Music' album.
One important lesson I learned from this experience,
is that I should have no fear in what I do, providing
the intent is for a positive outcome. My first-draft
presentation was more formal and had more depth, but
I plumped for an 'impromptu' style talk going with
the flow of the moment. The former in hindsight should
have been the presentation I used, but hey, next time...
Anyway, the weekend did involve the prescence of Loki.
He's a Trickster and a Prankster, a "fool"
you could say. He represents living without fear or
care. The prescence of such a principle led five grown-up
males parading up and down a street in Cardiff shouting
"Bring out your Jews! Bring out your Jews!"
and singing "I should be so Loki, Loki, Loki,
Loki..."
Another surreal night in the life of living:stone.
I could right a fekkin' book on my strange nights.
---------------------------------
17th November 2006ce
The first rehearsal of the "living:stone"
project went swimmingly. It was a good feeling to
be playing music from the 'A
Collection of Music' album of which I
am very proud. It is music that comes from inside
me and it's who I am, so I can be nothing else than
proud of it. The
Gift of Set is a truly remarkable thing when
you allow it to flow freely through your veins.
---------------------------------
11th November 2006ce
Preparations are under way for the first live performance
of the "living:stone" project. The band
rehearses in two days time and it will be very interesting
to see how it goes. If it doesn't work, I'm going
to pull the plug on it. It's got to be right
or not at all. My aim is to make people go away from
the gig thinking "what the f#%k was that?"
Anything less and I will have failed.
---------------------------------
1st November 2006ce
I've just been asked to play a live set on the 30th
November as part of the BELFEST
2006 festival. Now the logistical problems
of how I'm going to perform my music live is the obstacle,
although it should be an interesting challenge to
the five or six people who will be involved in the
shows. I'm really looking forward to taking this music
out live - it's so much different from the usual drums/bass/guitar/vocal
set up which 99% of bands consist of.
...And all that reminds me of the first time I let
a certain chap hear my music. His jaw dropped open
and he had a totally bewildered look on his face -
almost as if I had stripped naked in front of him
- he said to me, "but... but that's not
music... how will you ever be able to market that?"
Although because is a fan of Eric Clapton, he therefore
has by default, an invalid opinion.
---------------------------------
31st October 2006ce
It's 3am and I've just played at the last of six shows
where a group of us had to create original music for
a circus. It was a great experience and lots of fun.
It's all happening again next years so we must have
done something right.
Oh aye, and it's All
Hallow's Eve or to give its Irish name, Samhain,
a celebration for "the end of the summer"
when the dead would revisit the mortal world, and
large communal bonfires would be lit to ward off evil
spirits. Ah, the romance of the old world...
---------------------------------
28th October 2006ce
I've been busy working with Belfast Community Circus
on six shows going under the title of "Spirits
of The Circus". It's great fun and the music
we are playing is dark, dischordant and groovy. It's
strangely attractive...
---------------------------------
18th October 2006ce
The Objective Universe is becoming increasingly more
perplexing. I think I'm sliding into living within
the Subjective Universe and that's not good at all.
I've got to "keep it real" less I shall
disappear completely from the world of Man and into
a world of sheer fantasy, although maybe "there
is a pleasure sure in being mad which none but madmen
know".
---------------------------------
15th October 2006ce
"If it feels right
Just drive for the light
That's the groovessential facts
Someday we'll all meet at the end of the street
At the Teahouse on the Tracks."
Donald
Fagen - "Teahouse on the Tracks"
---------------------------------
15th October 2006ce
Tao the undivided, Great One, gives rise to two opposite
reality principles, Darkness and Light, yin and yang.
These are at first thought of only as forces of nature
apart from man. Later, the sexual polarities and others
as well, are derived from them. From yin comes K'un,
the receptive feminine principle; from yang comes
Ch'ien, the creative masculine principle; from yin
comes ming, life; from yang, hsing or essence.
Each individual contains a central monad which, at
the moment of conception, splits into life and essence,
ming and hsing. These two are super-individual principles,
and so can be related to eros and logos.
In the personal bodily existence of the individual
they are represented by two other polarities, a p'o
soul (or anima) and a hun soul (or animus). All during
the life of the individual these two are in conflict,
each striving for mastery. At death they separate
and go different ways. The anima sinks to earth as
kuei, a ghost-being. The animus rises and becomes
shen, a revealing spirit or god. Shen may in time
return to Tao.
If the life-forces flow downward, that is, without
let or hindrance into the outer world, the anima is
victorious over the animus; no "spirit body"
or "Golden Flower" is developed, and, at
death, the ego is lost. If the life-forces are led
through the "backward-flowing" process,
that is, conserved, and made to "rise" instead
of allowed to dissipate, the animus had been victorious,
and the ego persists after death. It is then possessed
of shen, the revealing spirit. A man who holds to
the way of conservation all through life may reach
the stage of the "Golden Flower," which
then frees the ego from the conflict of the opposities,
and it again becomes part of Tao, the undivided, Great
One.
From The
Secret of the Golden Flower, a Chinese Book of Life.
---------------------------------
14th October 2006ce
I'm busy rehearsing for a show that is happening tomorrow
night. I'm playing guitar in four songs at the concert
which will be at a packed Waterfront Hall in Belfast.
Life at the moment is manifesting as me doing a spinning
plates routine, trying to be in several places at
the same time.
After that concert, the next project will be playing
Circus music at an actual circus, which should be
good fun.
After that it's time to begin working out how to take
my music out to
a live audience - a bit of a technical headache, but
fun nevertheless and ALL part of BECOMING.
"You have adorned yourself as Great-of-Magic,
He-in-Ombos, Lord of the South (Seth). It will not
be lost for you, it will not cease for you. Lo, you
are full of glory, powerful one, more than the gods
of the South, together with their spirits !"
(Utterance #204 - Texts From the Pyramid of Unas)
---------------------------------
4th October 2006ce
You think your somebody important? Somebody who is
indispensable? Someone who is needed? Maybe you are
or maybe you're suffering from delusion in thinking
that you are, or maybe you are and don't
see it, or the last option... maybe
you're not.
It's one of those anyway. Maybe there are other possible
scenarios, but I'm too tired and wish to abruptly
stop this gibberish.
Bed.
---------------------------------
1st October 2006ce
The last diary entry stated that I was in a "low
period". In total contrast to that, yesterday
was a brilliant day recording music in Earthmusic
Studio. A creative 'fire' was raging, which
is a really exhilarating sensation. Come to think
of it, I was recording a song titled "riddle"
which features the chorus lines,
"Get down on The Black Flame,
You're going down on The Black Flame,
There's nothing can stop you,
When The Black Flame's burning in your soul."
What a day.
---------------------------------
26th September 2006ce
A low period. A barren period made a little easier
after watching a television documentary about the
actor/writer, Stephen
Fry and his battle with Bipolar
Disorder, also known as Manic
Depression. I related to his story a great
deal specifically how he would drift from periods
of creative bliss to periods of extreme self-loathing...
---------------------------------
13th September 2006ce
"He saw the great Mystery, he knew the Hidden:
He recovered the knowledge of all the times before
the Flood.
He journeyed beyond the distant, he journeyed beyond
exhaustion,
And then carved his story on stone".
An extract from "The
Epic of Gilgamesh", thought to be the
oldest written story on Earth dating back to somewhere
between 2750 and 2500 BCE.
---------------------------------
8th September 2006ce
There is SO much happening at the minute. So much
to do, so many books to read, so much of me to develop,
so much music to be written and recorded, so many
demands from my children to meet. Well, in reality
they don't have to be done, rather I want to
do them. Plus I am getting one of my impulses again
- this time to investigate the possibility of a relationship
between Rune
Symbolism and Music - RuneMusic? On my own head be
it...
---------------------------------
30th August 2006ce
A weekend in Cardiff talking about Philosophy followed
by a week in Gloucester admiring the Cotswolds and
playing percussion with the Chai
Chapel, I'm SO glad to be home. Although what
memorable experiences they were.
While I was in Gloucester or Cheltenham to be more
precise, I went to a debate about Northern Ireland
and where the "Peace Process" was going.
At the debate was Alex Easton from the VERY Protestant
and Unionist Democratic
Unionist Party (DUP) and Philip McGuigan from
the VERY Irish Republican political party, Sinn
Fein (SF). Sinn Fein are despised to the par
of ten by the DUP to the point where they will not
actually engage in dialogue with them, such is their
abhorrence of them. After the debate I happened to
notice Alex Easton and Philip McGuigan casually strolling
together around the area where the debate was held,
both chatting and eating a box of Southern Fried Chicken
and Chips.
What a charade this public face of the Northern Ireland
Peace Process is for if both men were being filmed
for public viewing, there is NO way Alex Easton would
have be seen socialising with Philip McGuigan...
---------------------------------
18th August 2006ce
I'm writing this before I set off for Cardiff
for a couple of days by myself and I'm looking forward
to it. The purpose is to meet some new found people
and discover more about The
Temple of Set and its philosophies. It's all
part of educating myself, for that great quest
will never stop as long as my dicky ticker
still beats...
---------------------------------
13th August 2006ce
A day recording at Earthmusic studio. It was an amazing
experience recording the vocal to the song "mind"
- we are using the first take as the one for the final
mix. I remember
coming out of the booth after the first attempt feeling
exhilarated. A brilliant feeling, that I have been
lucky enough to experience through music many times.
In the previous diary entry, I was waffling on about
how I would "invoke
The Black Flame of Creativity" and allow Him
to compose the rest of the lyrics to "mind"
- well, here's what 'He' came up with;
"I can make you mind. I can make you a mind.
I can make your mind. I can make you mine"
and;
"Rhythm writhes through every act. Wild is
The Dance, its balance
EXACT."
The first lyric comes from my frustration with people
allowing themselves to be hypnotised
by others in positions of 'public
influence' into living lives which they do
not really want to live. The second is straight from
Pan Himself... wild and free. Sue me.
---------------------------------
12th August 2006ce
I'm in the studio tomorrow to record the vocals to
a song titled "mind"
that I haven't completed the lyrics for, so this is
me trying to write them. Here's what I've got so far...
How many times do you have to screw
it up before you finally learn,
That your drama keeps unfolding with every twist and
turn?
You say you want nothing to change,
You'll stay with what
is safe, what is home,
The Devil
scares you,
But it's all in your mind.
It's all in your mind.
The All
is your mind...
There you go. Done. As for the rest of the words,
I will invoke The
Black Flame of Creativity and allow Him to
compose them. It IS all for Him after all... isn't
it?
---------------------------------
8th August 2006ce
What Odin
whispered In Baldr's ear,
Not god nor man Was nigh to hear.
What Odin
whispered, Bending low,
No one knowth Or e're shall know...
---------------------------------
6th August 2006ce
All I have is Now. I'm sitting here, it's 2:30am and
all around me is quiet. Apart from the hum of a computer
and the click, clack, clicking of my computer keyboard.
I'm in a house in Ireland,
surrounded by my beautiful sleeping family. They may
be fighting dragons in their dreamworlds, but I am
Here, Now.
That's all.
---------------------------------
5th August 2006ce
It may be much too simplistic, or is it, to suggest
that to achieve peace maybe we should consider the
option of "STOP FIGHTING"? Correct me if
I'm wrong, but I'm almost definite that it would work,
yet no-one seems brave enough to actually do the "stop
fighting" bit.
Land division, land division, land division. People
division. Right and Wrong. Evil and Just. Good and
Bad. Us and Them, Ours and Yours. It's Fire fighting
Fire. It's a wound being treated with poison. Meanwhile
time ticks away on this stunning galactic Earthgarden
now riddled with the dis-ease spread by a deadly strain
of Humanvirus. It's parasitic and downright vulgar.
But hey, that's easy for me to say back here at my
desk. It's a different matter when it's happening
outside your front door...
---------------------------------
31st July 2006ce
Holy Bollocks! It's turning out that the Good Guys
are actually the bloody Bad Guys. What a swizz. What
a swindle. "Ever had the feeling you've been
cheated?" (John
Lydon - San Francisco's Winterland Ballroom
1978).
Be VERY wary of people shoutiing about burning Witches
and proclaiming things as "EVIL" - reverse
it and "LIVE".
---------------------------------
22nd July 2006ce
Many people are looking for a quiet place to settle
down, with Self
Remembering
they eventually create it inside and carry it with
them wherever they go - Just try and stop me.
---------------------------------
22nd July 2006ce
I'm watching Fritz Lang's 'Metropolis'
and I had to stop the film to start typing this. Why,
I don't know. Maybe I'm supposed to document what
I have learnt since the last diary entry, so here
goes...
I have learnt that there is so much I don't
know about My Self however I do know that there
is a creative power. Some call it "Genius",
some call it "The Muse", some call it "Wisdom",
some call it "Illumination", some call it
"Enlightenment" and some call it "The
Black Flame". It matters not what it is called.
It's there and I have experienced it quite a number
of times. I hope you do too.
---------------------------------
12th July 2006ce
The
Twelfth of July. Some people in Northern Ireland
call it "the
glorious twelfth", while others call
it a nightmare. It all depends which side of the fence
you are from. My problem with it all is that I cannot
see ANY fence at all. Ireland is a big sod of land.
It's NOT divided. The people are NOT divided, they
simply think they are so. Protestants versus
Catholics - there has never been a bigger swindle,
con or deception on the land of Ireland. The wretched
and vulgar souls who are mind-controlled into believing
there is a divide really are on one hand to be pitied,
but then the Nietzsche
in me says, "Nothing is more unhealthy, amid
all our unhealthy modernism, than Christian pity.
To be the doctors here, to be unmerciful here, to
wield the knife here - all this is our business, all
this is our sort of humanity, by this sign we are
philosophers, we Hyperboreans !"
So in that case, I'd better leave the swill to the
swine. I will dine on honeydew and drink The
Milk of Paradise...
---------------------------------
3rd July 2006ce
I've survived another day and still I am alive and
obviously if you are reading this, YOU have survived
another day and are also still alive. The world average
death rate is 8.67
deaths per 1,000 population (2006 est.), so
there are quite a few people who can't share that
thought - so stop whining and fix whatever it is you
whine on about. Drive yourself forward, right to the
brink and over - Live.
---------------------------------
1st July 2006ce
It's time to be strong. It's time to accept that living
involves pain. What you have today can ALL disappear
in a tiny moment - and it's ALL in your own hands.
Don't shirk your responsibilities. You do it all to
yourself. Don't blame others, or fate, or God. YOU
are the one who screws up.
---------------------------------
13th June 2006ce
If it's your will, you can get lost in the swampmud.
You are free to do so. No harm done. I'm choosing
to move in as many directions as I can. Maybe I'll
get lost too. You, lost in society's quagmire and
me, in a purple haze. Stasis versus motion. The former,
a safe haven in comfort and leisure and the latter,
dynamic, chaotic and inspirational. Queen
Elizabeth II versus Bjork.
Choose your weaponry VERY carefully. The rest is up
to you.
---------------------------------
3rd June 2006ce
"My idea is that every specific body strives
to become master over all space and to extend its
force (its will to power) and to thrust back all that
resists its extension. But it continually encounters
similar efforts on the part of other bodies and ends
by coming to an arrangement ("union") with
those of them that are sufficiently related to it:
thus they then conspire together for power. And the
process goes on..."
from "The Will to Power" by Friedrich
Nietzsche
---------------------------------
30th May 2006ce
The only way to destroy hatred is with love.
Hatred can not be defeated with more hatred. This
is a very important lesson to learn.
---------------------------------
19th May 2006ce
I've been once more on the trail of the one known
as "Jesus Christ" and yet again, the actual
documented evidence of his physical existence is so
threadbare, amounting to nothing more than hearsay
and folklore, that it annoyed me as to why
I research this.
I remain in utter disbelief how certain people I know
who have a certain degree of intelligence can accept
the Christian fable as an actual historical event.
It appears that rigid faith relies on no new knowledge
at all being allowed to emerge and potentially influence
and dare I say it, challenge
the status
quo.... but don't get me wrong, I'm a great
advocate of being "Christed". Christ comes
from the Greek "Christos" meaning "anointed",
and I hope that everyone becomes "Christed",
"anointed" or "illuminated" enough
to make their OWN minds up and not simply accept the
rhetoric spoken by through profane, vulgar mouths
driven from unsubstantiated thoughts, ideas and beliefs.
Don't buy lies, or rise to a challenge here....
---------------------------------
9th May 2006ce
I've just read about how a 15-year-old boy was attacked
by a gang in County Antrim. He has died in hospital
from his injuries. A relative said the attackers hit
the boy with a baseball bat and "jumped on his
head".
We have to do something to educate people - not just
how to get a decent job, but how to live a decent
life. Is it not the duty and responsibility of everyone
who is lucky enough to see the world beyond violent
actions, to attempt to share this valuable knowledge
with others?
---------------------------------
3rd May 2006ce
I tell you, music can drive you mad, if you let it.
For the past three weeks it's been writing, recording
or "teaching" music. Sometimes I just want
to run for them there hills. Oh for some middle ground!
It's either the depths of tiredness and negativity,
or it's euphoria and a joie de vivre that champions
over any form of 'backward' thinking.
"You
do it to yourself, you do..."
---------------------------------
28th April 2006ce
Okay, I'm writing this simply because I feel that
I should be documenting something of what is
tumbling and spiraling all around my little brain
- for self-preservation purposes, not because what
is bashing and clattering through my mind is in any
way worthwhile reading, or valuable information.
I reckon that the VAST majority of humans are inherently
'good' - that is, not psychopathic maniacs, as the
media would have us believe.
Have you ever thought that as we stumble, bleary-eyed,
into shops on the way to our early morning jobs, how
we can't help but notice out of the corner of one
of those bleary eyes, the newspaper headline buzzwords
such as, "MURDER, CARNAGE, HORROR, DEATH, WAR"
etc. etc.
When was the last time you noticed a gentle word such
as "Love" or "Peace" or "Happy"
appearing in a newspaper headline????
Don't buy lies.
---------------------------------
17th April 2006ce
Yesterday I signed a contract with a record company
"audio-ill", to produce music for them.
The first release will be later this year and it will
be an EP single containing five tracks. There will
hopefully be live performances which will present
a really interesting challenge, considering that it
will NOT be a standard drums/bass/guitar/vocal setup.
I will have to recruit the efforts of maybe seven
or eight people to be able to reproduce this music
properly in a live format.
All remains to be seen... it may happen or it may
not.
If Amar
Bharti in 1973, can raise
his arm vertically in the air as if he was a small
child begging to answer a call of nature, and keep
a vow to this day, that it was never to come down
again, then surely I can form a poxy little music
combo'...
---------------------------------
15th April 2006ce
"livingstonemusic.net" has been a worthwhile
project. It's been almost like an online crucifixion.
From the first entry into this journal on 26th July
2002, I feel I have come a long, long way from someone
with his head
firmly implanted up his bum,
to this other someone who is a bit more "content"
for the want of a better word.
If this site is in tandem with this shift, then it
has to change to reflect just that. So it should be
"bye bye" to sensationalist conspiracy theories,
such as how most Government Administrations are corrupt
power-mongers - you don't need me to tell you
that, do you?
And how Religion is the greatest tool of division,
hatred, war, slaughter, and is ultimately downright
anti the ways of The Christ - you didn't need me
to tell you that, do you?
And when Agent Smith told Neo in "The
Matrix" that "there is another organism
on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus.
Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet."
- you didn't need him to tell you that, do
you?
As far as I can see, the meat of the sandwich lies
in the following words, "Do unto others as you
would have them do to you". (The Bible - Luke
6:31). So mote it be.
---------------------------------
7th April 2006ce
To say "I couldn't be arsed" would accurately
reflect the current mood.
There has been a severe inner 'aching' that has been
one hundred per cent consistent throughout this little
life of mine. It's an aching to be alone with
(not 'from') everything. The natural world I can handle
- it's there - just go with it, not against it. Easy.
But the ways of Man - well that's a whole different
game to play... and I've come to the conclusion that
regarding joining in with the ways of man, well to
be honest, "I couldn't be arsed".
So, I'll leave you all to it. Send me a postcard from
a holiday beach resort while you're listening to an
Eric Clapton "Greatest Hits" album on your
iPod. Love your money. Flaunt your children as social
jewels. Dance with America. Go and watch "Riverdance".
Eat a meal and discuss its flavours with your partner.
Hide from that voice inside you that is telling you
something that you don't want to hear. Tell yourself
that you ARE normal.
---------------------------------
30th March 2006ce
Alone and making music. The slow transformation of
ideas into manifestation as some kind of musical form
has begun. The current idea going under the working
title of "hellmyth"
is something I'm liking the sound of -
The track is inspired by famous urban myth about a
Russian geological group who allegedly drilled a hole
about 14.5 kilometers deep into the crust of the earth.
The story goes that a recording was made of the sounds
from deep in the hole, but the intense heat destroyed
the microphone so only seventeen seconds of sound
could be captured. The "recording" sounds
like human voices and screams.
I'm using this noise as a background to a current
working idea. Obviously the story is mythological
pants, but I'm picking on the sounds with an interest
in how we perceive this "place" named "Hell"
would actually sound like...
---------------------------------
24th March 2006ce
Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem! - The
Devil made me do it!
Imprisoned by madness we are like moths drawn to the
flame,
doing wrong, hoping to each time escape back to the
safety of our little homes... continually avoiding
that fateful day when the fire not only burns us,
but entirely consumes us. Beware the Ides
of March!
---------------------------------
19th March 2006ce
I'm writing and gathering ideas together for a batch
of music that will be soon recorded. It's all going
under the title of "voyeurism".
I've got ideas, half-ideas, singular thoughts, whole
song lyrics, rhythms, melodies and chord sequences
swimming around my head like frantic little fish,
all crammed into the tiny swimming bowl that is my
little brain. There's just not enough room for them
all to coexist together. As each song is finished
and recorded, that will rid me of the little clusters
of madness, one by one. Rome wasn't built in a day
y'know...
---------------------------------
6th March 2006ce
Gad, there's SO much wonderful and inspirational music
out there in the world that the masses will probably
never hear. I've written this after listening to The
The's incredible album "Mind
Bomb". When Matt Johnson penned these
songs 'back' in 1988 did he have an slightest notion
just how relevant they would be "X" amount
of years later?
"Islam is rising, the Christians mobilising,
the world is on its elbows and knees, it's forgotten
the message and worships the creeds..."
Anyway, I'll bid farewell with a "Mind
Bomb" thought;
"Who is it, whose words have been twisted beyond
recognition, in order to build your planet Earth's
religions?
And who is it, who could make your little armies of
the left and your little armies of the right, light
up your skies tonight?
Who is it, that turns your blood
into spirit
and your spirit
into blood?
And who is it, that can reach down from above, and
set your souls ablaze with LOVE?"
---------------------------------
26th February 2006ce
Here we go. Another little message sent into the ethernet;
Tired. Perplexed. Hammered into submission on wondering.
All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great
and small. All things wise and wonderful, the Lord
God made them all. He also gave man a brain and that
was a faux pas and a half. But then, we can't blame
the whole of Creation for us
being uneducated shitheads.
Adam,
Prometheus,
Frankenstein...
what have you done?!
---------------------------------
17th February 2006ce
In the darkness something was happening at last. A
voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and
Digory found it hard to decide from what direction
it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all
directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it
was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower
notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth
herself. There were no words. There was hardly even
a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful
noise he had ever heard. It was so beautiful he could
hardly bear it. The horse seemed to like it too; he
gave the sort of whinney a horse would give if, after
years of being a cab-horse, it found itself back in
the old field where it had played as a foal, and saw
someone whom it remembered and loved coming across
the field to bring it a lump of sugar.
"Gawd!" said the Cabby. "Ain't it lovely?"
Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One
was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices;
more voices than you could possibly count. They were
in harmony with it, but far higher up the scale: cold,
tingling, silvery voices. The second wonder was that
the blackness overhead, all at once, was blazing with
stars. They didn't come out gently one by one, as
they do on a summer evening. One moment there had
been nothing but darkness; next moment a thousand,
thousand points of light leaped out - single stars,
constellations, and planets, brighter and bigger than
any in our world. There were no clouds. The new stars
and the new voices began at exactly the same time.
If you had seen and heard it, as Digory did, you would
have felt quite certain that it was the stars themselves
which were singing, and that it was the First Voice,
the deep one, which had made them appear and made
them sing.
"Glory be!" said the Cabby, "I'd ha'
been a better man all my life if I'd known there were
things like this."
(C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew)
---------------------------------
15th February 2006ce
Sitting, typing, with no reason apart from the commitment
to record these type of thoughts in order that they
may be read in the future.... for erm, uh, ANALysis
purposes.
Since the first entry into this journal dated 26th
July 2002, I have travelled from the persona of wannabe
mystic to the current incarnation as a grumpy old
bollocks. All in the space of three and a half years.
My grumpy old bollocks self would tend to agree with
Agent Smith from "The Matrix" when he announced
about the human species that "There is another
organism on this planet that follows the same pattern.
A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this
planet." But then, that IS the viewpoint of a
fucking android type 'thing' - they WOULD say that.
Bah, Humbug.
Oh, and while I'm on that subject, WHAT terror?? Where
ARE these threats of terror that the British and US
Governments repeatedly insist are there, around us
in our everyday lives?? It harks back to the 1950's
well-acted out paranoia of the "threat of Communism".
"Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania
had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of
the moment always represented absolute evil, and it
followed that any past or future agreement with him
was impossible." (George
Orwell "1984" )
---------------------------------
4th February 2006ce
Ever had the feeling that you are a participant in
a movie i.e. "All the world's a stage,
and all the men and women merely players. They have
their exits and their entrances, and one man in his
time plays many
parts..." ? It feels a LOT like that for me.
Anyway, enough of that. Change your heart. It will
astound
you.
Everbody's got to learn sometime...
---------------------------------
22nd January 2006ce
We have said that there is no religion without mysteries;
let us add that there are no mysteries without symbols.
The symbol, being the formula or the expression of
a mystery, only expresses it's unknown depth by paradoxical
images borrowed from the known. The symbolic form,
having for it's object to characterize what is above
scientific reason, should necessarily find itself
without that reason: hence the celebrated and perfectly
just remark of a Father of the Church, 'I believe
because it is absurd. Credo Quia Absurdum.' (from
"The Key of the Mysteries" by Eliphas
Levi)
---------------------------------
15th January 2006ce
A sobering
thought: If you live until you are eighty years old,
which is considered "a good innings", you
will have lived for a mere 4,160 weeks. Not long eh?
An everyday
thought: My family quite often drive me mad but hey,
apart from me possessng infinite potential, they're
all I've got.
A transcendental
thought: If you, the reader and shining, spinning
fountain of light, haven't smiled lately, then for
your own sake, just smile. Go on...
---------------------------------
25th December 2005ce
Christ Mass morning, 10:30am and I'm sitting here
typing this while listening to Nizlopi's
beautiful "JCB song"..."and we're holding
up the bypass, me and my Dad having a top laugh..."
God, he was a very lucky boy to see his Dad as "a
giant sitting beside me". Some of us turkeys
out here in the world never knew those feelings. Me,
I had an oul' bastard for a Dad. Fuck him.
"I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee,
he drives me round in his JCB." The first song
in donkeys that made me cry uncontrollably.
---------------------------------
18th December 2005ce
I attended a Christmas Carol Service in a church which
had the aura of one that was 'dying'.
The air was one of stifled passion and untapped brilliance.
It was the dead waiting for new life. A new era. A
new 'Savoiur'. Pisces
finally submitting to Aquarius.
William
Butler Yeats' poem "The Second Coming"
came to mind and here it is in its entirity...
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy
is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming
is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight; somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare
by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
---------------------------------
5th December 2005ce
A single definition of the object of all Magical or
Religious Ritual: It is the uniting of the Microcosm
with the Macrocosm. Man
with God. The Lower Self with the Higher Self.
The Inner You with the Outer Universe. Base Instinct
with Higher Intelligence. The six-pointed
Hexagram containing two triangles, one
symbolising God descending into Man and the other
reflecting Man's ascension towards God. The Star of
David; a cryptic formula of enlightenment for those
with the eyes to see.
Or maybe this is further proof that I really AM losing
the plot.
---------------------------------
1st December 2005ce
Yesterday was one seriously busy day of musical activities.
I recorded a song going by the title of "TheRaven".
It's on to the mixing stage now and I'm leaving that
in the hands of someone else as an experiment. Will
my control freakery allow